“Be Still”

I wear glasses for two reasons: first they help me see where I am going and secondly because they are just so cute. I could wear contacts and I did the other day. I went to the pool and wore contacts to be able to wear sunglasses. When I came home I tried taking out my right contact which would not budge. I proceeded to take out my left contact with ease so I tired for my right again and again and again. Nothing happened! I was so convinced that my contact had fused to my eyeball that I ended up irritating my eyeball. Eek!  I went to the eye doctor the next morning still convinced it was there. They put yellow dye in my eye and looked and looked. They proceeded to tell me there was no contact. What! You mean I have wasted hours of my time and scratched my eye and there was no contact!? I couldn’t believe it yet it made me wonder how this applies to my own life.

How many times do life events or circumstances or fears come into our lives and become all consuming and chaotic. How many times do we think that something is wrong or we need to fix something or be perfect to allow God to use us?

Recently I have been battling the choice of school. Where to go? What to study? I want to be able to move so bad yet I have not taken the time to stop and realize God has already taken the contact out. He has already set the plan. All I need to do IS obey and walk in faith.

I have become dizzy and uncertain. I have avoided texts and calls because I continue to try to see past today. See past what I know. I keep trying to calculate my entire life based on this one choice. Yes this choice will effect my future, but the extent to which I am trying to plan, I have no control over. I don’t know who I’ll marry, where I will live or get a job. I may move states or leave the country. I may have kids or not. I can’t put the weight of my life on the college and degree I receive. That leaves no room for faith. That leaves no room for me to breathe or to allow God to breath into my circumstance.

I have posts about stepping out in faith and God doing more then you could imagine.  I have stepped out in faith. I think that each step in faith gets bigger and scarier and higher. It also comes with more intimacy with God and blessing beyond your wildest dreams. I know all these things and yet… I am paralyzed, frozen by the fear of letting down God, fear of not getting married, fear of running from who I truly am. 

      FEAR.

It screams in your face. It’s always on defense to what God has for you. It doesn’t want you to see your potential. Your ability to make the basket. Because once you’ve done it, you’ll do it again and again. God will use you more and more to advance his kingdom. He will bless you.

It is finished. The decision has been made. The contact is out. Celebrate that He has risen. The new has come. It is ok. God will use it. Stop searching and panicking and thinking. Praise God for this thing and move on. Take the step of faith. He wants you to have this. He wants you to thrive as His daughter or son. He needs you to trust Him when he says the contact IS out. Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven and your new life may begin. He will use this for more than you know. Stop reading into everything. Listen to your doctor. He cares about your heart health. He cares about you.