Category: Soul

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Don’t Stay in the Dirt

What does A jar of dirt, a Konnect lesson, and the story of Moses have in common?

About a month ago I was given a very clear picture from the Lord about a jar of dirt. I will share this picture with you now.

It was a mason jar full of dirt with a seed that had sprouted and then put into a dark room rather into the light. The Lord so clearly said you are ready, stop hiding.

When pondering these truthful words I was reminded of a beautiful analogy used often with a seed in comparison to our growth as humans. We, being the seed, are put into the dirt, a dark space. In this space we are watered, going through many days wondering if we will be ready to bloom/step into what we’ve been called to. Eventually we break through and get our roots and after those roots settle in we begin to bud. What if we took the bud and put it in the dark? It would flat out die. #yikes. Well the same goes for us. When we are comfortable with dark/the dirt (AKA a season we have been in, a mindset we’ve adopted as truth, etc.) and we begin to bud we have two options: Go back to the dark out of comfort or step into the light and grow like wild.

I have recently been convicted by the Lord that I like all my plants that were flourishing in the light have died, I too have succumbed to comfort or perceived comfort for fear of not having what it takes. I have forgotten the growth in me and the places the Lord has seen me through.

The Lord so clearly shared that I am prepared and am able.

Then several weeks later I participated in a mock interview at my internship. I couldn’t answer the questions. I appeared to be stumped on these seemingly easy questions. The interviewers wanted to know why it was difficult. I revealed that I am dyslexic and have audio processing disorder. After sharing this information my answers seemed to come naturally. I had released a weight that I was carrying. I thought I had to hide parts of myself so that I could be uber strong and put-together. However, I was so wrong.

Later that day I had a conversation with one of the the mock interviewers. He shared with me that I should read the story of Moses. The reason being my hesitation seemed to share similar qualities as Moses. Y’all he( Moses) straight up told God he couldn’t do the work God had called him to so HE was gonna need to pick someone else. Moses wasn’t able to recognize God’s strength despite his weakness.

Knowing your calling and purpose can be so life giving and freeing when walked out with the Lord. BUT…

I realized that I had been taking my calling and carrying the weight trying to figure out how my human self could accomplish a God goal. I crash and burn every time. Y’all the realization that the Lord will give you the strength and understanding for whatever your called to is so freeing.

Today I am recognizing God’s strength. Take a moment to worship our Lord and all the ways He shows HIs strength in your life.

Last Sunday the Konnect (1st-3rd grade service) lesson was on “kids can be leaders too”. In the video two of the actors took a magazine quiz. Those quizzes can be so dangerous when we forget where are purpose and calling come from. Following the quiz one of them decided they would have to be a construction manager and the other one felt incapable because she was just a junior volunteer.

The latter character lost all confidence in the training and gifts she had. She was unable to see it’s not about your age, your title, or your position. It’s about your calling and who you walk with.

How encouraging that God gave us a scripture to remind us that it’s not about the critics but how God transforms us.

The scales have come off my eyes. I can see so clearly that I must work hard but also let the Lord work through me where I lack. I don’t think there is one answer to life and we do have the freedom to choose. However, I do believe we have a calling and if ignored, its full potential may missed. The Lord moves in our life in ways we may have not been open to before when we accept our true calling.

So let the Lord work on your seed in the dark but when you sprout move to the light and continue to bloom. When the Lord puts a calling on your life remember HE is able to walk you through it. Your humanness can’t accomplish it on your own but you truly aren’t’ alone. The Lord will see you through. And while other careers, callings, and lives can look interesting and exciting, you will flourish the most when you acknowledge and step into your calling. You are not too young, to blonde, to short, to tall, to old, to brunette, etc.

YOU. ARE. CALLED. DON’T LET YOUR LIFE GO TO VOICEMAIL. ANSWER IT AND TAKE THE WALK WITH JESUS.

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LIES: Are You Behind Them or Above Them?

Hello friends! Are you stuck in a spiritual rut? Are you focusing more on what you physically see then what is being spiritually revealed? Are you consumed with what your supposed todo today? Are you finding that despite being home you are more busy? Are you scared that if you find out who God says you are it won’t be who you planned to be?

Yeah me too.

I am going to share a story about a simple girl who wanted adventure but didn’t see herself as worthy or ready and refused to open the door. This girl prayed daily “Lord I want adventure, send me into the world. ” But when an idea or a revelation came knocking on her door she ran and hid. Much like Saul when he was about to be appointed king over Israel.

1 Samuel 10:22 MSG; Samuel went back to God: “Is he anywhere around?” God said, “Yes, he’s right over there— hidden in the pile of baggage.”

Let’s mediate on this scripture for a moment. What stands out to you?

Two points stand out to me: First, God is near and can see us where we are at. Whether we are at the beginning of something the middle or the end, He see’s us. Second, Saul chose to hid among the baggage. Rather than being close to God in the unknown he defaulted to the comfort of sitting among the baggage.

I more often than not feel like my totally fictional character above. I tend to impersonate Saul rather than David.

Psalm 23

David knew his God and knew how much He cared for him. He didn’t need to be comfortable to be safe.

Why does it seem easier to hide in our baggage? Because we forget who our God is and think it takes our strength to go down the road of adventure. When God called Moses to lead the people out of Egypt He said “I AM WHO I AM”.

GOD is capable, He is near, and He is inviting you in to something special today.

Today I wonder what is blocking you from letting God reveal a door or take you outside, away form the baggage? Are you holding onto a concept of who you think you should be? A word the defines you? A past mistake? Fear of screwing up your entire life based on one moment with the Lord?

Let me set you free today with a few words that have been shared with me in the past. “You are not that powerful”. I am going to say that again, “You are not that powerful.”

Today I charge you to look deeper. Sit with God a little longer. Journal: What you hear, think, and see. Step away form the baggage. Allow God to take you into the new thing or on the adventure. I know its scary but God is I AM and will guide you along still water and through the valley of death.

No matter where you find yourself today I know God has immeasurably more to share with you.

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Fear Factor

This weekend I rode a bike for the first time in about 10 years. And let me tell you it felt amazing! This may seem like a trivial event, silly even. However there is so much significance behind this event.

For some context when I was 12 riding my bike pride took over. I began to explain to my friends that I could in fact beat my sister no mater how for ahead she was. ( At the time I didn’t realize it was because I was on a road bike and she was o a mountain bike. GO figure.) As I turned back into the driveway my tire gets stuck between the grass and driveway. I fall over and the handle bars drive into my side. I vowed never to ride a bike again.

Until this weekend.

So I only biked in a small circle yet I wanted to continue for a long time. In that short spurt of biking I felt joy and peace! My past hurts were no longer in control of me. This led me to think about other areas of my life that I may have gotten use to not doing something out of fear.

I recognized I that needed/desired even to get back into the practice of stopping and listening to God during my quite time. I had stopped this out of fear of what God might say. Not a lot of trust there I know.

Just as my experience with the bike hurt me, last summer when I was faced with a decision anxiety about listening to God and making the right choice recked me. The anxiety that riddled me was exhausting, embarrassing, and stripped me of enjoying listening to God.

Just like I need to be intentional in getting back on the bike I also need to be intentional about my walk with Christ. I got use to reading, journaling and done. Yet I knew I’d done more before and had felt more before. 

I have decided to: Sit. And. Listen. This like my bike riding has stored fear in my heart because of the past yet Gods sweetness is on the other side of a quite heart and mind.

Today I challenge you to find something whether seemingly silly like ridding a bike or deeper such as sitting and listening. Sometimes we get comfortable in our fear. God has called you to the other side of this.

2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

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Packing Light

All nonessentials are closing. This phrase is odd and weighty. While I don’t love that this will cause businesses to close, people to lose their jobs and in person experiences to be lost, the word nonessentials has caught my eye.

First I had to think about what I consider nonessentials to be. I mean getting a latte from your favorite local coffee shop is always a highlight. But is a 5 dollar latte essential to everyday living?

Dictionary.com defines nonessential as..

adjective

not essential; not necessary:Nonessential use of gasoline was forbidden during the war.

noun

a nonessential thing or person.

So in other words something not needed or not aloud.

Then I thought about what God says is essential, bread and water don’t even make the cut.

Matthew 4:1-5 (NLT)

1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. 2 For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry. 3 During that time the devil came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.” 4 But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ”

Matthew 21:21 (NLT)

21 Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.

God says that faith is essential! That going to the source of life is essential. The source of life can be found in God’s word, in worshiping, in serving, in engaging in conversation and in prayer.

Together dictionary.com and GOD can help us see that despite the loss we are feeling, we haven’t truly lost what is essential. YOU see we still are able to read our bibles whenever we would like. We can worship our Lord whenever we would like. We can watch sermons and go to church whenever we would like! We still have what’s truly essential.

So yes, we maybe losing out on cherished events and beloved rituals, BUT we have the ability to still have a relationship with Jesus! Makes me giddy just thinking about it!!

Today my prayer for you is that you would find peace and joy in the ESSENTIALS of today.

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Just Walk

Peace. I have walked it. For many of you who read my last post as of August 7th, 2019 I was paralyzed and searching for my life’s blueprint to be handed to me by God. Now logically we know this can not happen. If we knew everything that God would have for us, we wouldn’t dare move or we would think it was all on us. Newsflash it ain’t.

So what changed from August 7th to December 18th 2019, Besides the weather and holiday season?
My actions.
Instead of listening to my brain explain to me that I have to be approved by God and by all the people around me and still be myself and try to accomplish everything in one semester… and and and!
This nearly drove me insane. Well it actually did I spent my entire summer trapped in my head and talked in circles. It was wack!

I remember the week before classes started like it was yesterday. I hadn’t decided on a school for sure because every time I declared one, I then thought of all the reasons I should go to the other. (To help understand more I had already gone to KSU for a year but KU had a program I was interested in because it would allow me to apply for an internship that I have been wanting to do).
Anyway… The days crept closer to the beginning of classes. I had very few days left to choose. I had officially changed schools like three times. The admission people probably thought I was crazy. I was. But I remember choosing KSU. Thinking I need to finish what I started and although this seemed like the opposite of what I wanted, I knew God had called me to return.

Monday came and as I went to my class a peace that transcends ALL understanding washed over me. This peace was unreal. I remember trying to change my major and realizing it didn’t feel right. In my walk of obedience God opened a major within my school of Education that literally fits me to a T.
I still get to apply for the internship I want and be practically finished with school at the time I had hoped for.

All this to say – God wants to use us and has things in store for us.
Sometimes it is painful other times it is a sweet gift.
How can we know what he has if we don’t walk? You see if ever we get off track God is kind enough to lead us back and our off-trackness was already budgeted into Gods plan.
He literally has it under control.

So as I am sitting here reflecting on literally walking past my thoughts of anxiety and fears of my shortcomings, I thank God for overcoming all and restoring this battle I have faced.
As sit here writing to you I mediate on two things:

Philippians 4:6-7 and the Movie Tangled.

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Rapunzel is one of my favorite princesses. While her story starts off kinda bleak it ends with restoration just like each of our own Jesus stories. He comes to rescue us from our oppressor, Satan. Satan tells us that he knows what is best for us, sending doubt into our minds about what God has for us. This lie begins the building of a tower around us –  of fears, lies, anger, false situations and so forth. He (the devil) fears our potential. The great thing is, no matter how long you live locked up, whether it be 2 days or 10 years, God will rescue you.
There is a purpose God has for you.

Stop holding it in afraid – that you are too much and not enough. Stop worrying that you will mess it up and you’ll disappoint God. Just STOP. God literally made you perfect in His image. There is no one like you. There may be others who you share common interest or goals with, but the way you are wired is unique. So I am here to tell you that I have come through, to the other side and so can you!
Let’s ring in the new year in expectation of what God can and will do.

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“Be Still”

I wear glasses for two reasons: first they help me see where I am going and secondly because they are just so cute. I could wear contacts and I did the other day. I went to the pool and wore contacts to be able to wear sunglasses. When I came home I tried taking out my right contact which would not budge. I proceeded to take out my left contact with ease so I tired for my right again and again and again. Nothing happened! I was so convinced that my contact had fused to my eyeball that I ended up irritating my eyeball. Eek!  I went to the eye doctor the next morning still convinced it was there. They put yellow dye in my eye and looked and looked. They proceeded to tell me there was no contact. What! You mean I have wasted hours of my time and scratched my eye and there was no contact!? I couldn’t believe it yet it made me wonder how this applies to my own life.

How many times do life events or circumstances or fears come into our lives and become all consuming and chaotic. How many times do we think that something is wrong or we need to fix something or be perfect to allow God to use us?

_Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth._

Recently I have been battling the choice of school. Where to go? What to study? I want to be able to move so bad yet I have not taken the time to stop and realize God has already taken the contact out. He has already set the plan. All I need to do IS obey and walk in faith.

I have become dizzy and uncertain. I have avoided texts and calls because I continue to try to see past today. See past what I know. I keep trying to calculate my entire life based on this one choice. Yes this choice will effect my future, but the extent to which I am trying to plan, I have no control over. I don’t know who I’ll marry, where I will live or get a job. I may move states or leave the country. I may have kids or not. I can’t put the weight of my life on the college and degree I receive. That leaves no room for faith. That leaves no room for me to breathe or to allow God to breath into my circumstance.

I have posts about stepping out in faith and God doing more then you could imagine.  I have stepped out in faith. I think that each step in faith gets bigger and scarier and higher. It also comes with more intimacy with God and blessing beyond your wildest dreams. I know all these things and yet… I am paralyzed, frozen by the fear of letting down God, fear of not getting married, fear of running from who I truly am. 

      FEAR.

It screams in your face. It’s always on defense to what God has for you. It doesn’t want you to see your potential. Your ability to make the basket. Because once you’ve done it, you’ll do it again and again. God will use you more and more to advance his kingdom. He will bless you.

It is finished. The decision has been made. The contact is out. Celebrate that He has risen. The new has come. It is ok. God will use it. Stop searching and panicking and thinking. Praise God for this thing and move on. Take the step of faith. He wants you to have this. He wants you to thrive as His daughter or son. He needs you to trust Him when he says the contact IS out. Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven and your new life may begin. He will use this for more than you know. Stop reading into everything. Listen to your doctor. He cares about your heart health. He cares about you. 

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33 Degrees and Waiting

Where I live it snowed for the fifth time this year this past Saturday. This snow has been much better then any previous snow we’ve had. You see winter in Kansas is like a moody teenager, one day its in the upper 50’s and then it drops to the 20’s. Winter is also a season that usually represents the end of something however what if winter was the preparation and beginning of something?

Winter is__________.

The day it snowed here in Overland park it was exactly 32 degrees fahrenheit. Why is that significant you might be wondering? Well at 33 degrees fahrenheit the massive snowfall would have been rain. God put the perfect temperature in place for a magical snowfall. What if the season in your life is a “winter” right now but not in the “ending of an era” kind of winter but a “start of something new” winter. Though this season is typically a very cold and “annoying” season for many, getting bitter about the bitter cold. What if we lack so that God can bless us. What if the blessing is going to be something we can’t even imagine? What if the one who creates looked down on you today preparing you for your perfectly 32 degree day?

Ok so the snow has fallen but 3 days later it is still here creating a beautiful wonderland. The trees are laden with snow. The once dead looking lifeless trees are bound by blankets of pure white snow. What a beautiful picture. Imagine with me these trees. Some of them have large branches broken off. This picture reminds me of John 15.

The True Vine

15 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He[a]takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

Typically when I imagine being a branch of the Jesus vine I see spring and flowers and all things filled with color. Yet we are called to abide in God in ALL seasons. Not all seasons of life are filled with color, that is the reality of being human. However this also brings me hope because He continues to prune me (whatever that may be) in every season of my life.

We have seen how the snow is a blessing and a pruning devise, I have one more analogy so stick with me. Have you ever been so stuck on a plan that you can’t see any alternative? What if God wants to show you His perfect purpose filled plan but your too distracted? He will cover it with snow and you will have to trust Him every step of the way. Faithfully God will guide!

Ultimately the snow is a blessing that God’s been preparing you for, a way He can prune back your life and a chance to faithfully fallow His lead. Like in Goldilocks and the Three Bears, “It’s just right”.

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Just NOW!

Have you ever re-watched your favorite TV series? When I first drafted this post I was on my third round of New Girl and now I am currently on round two of Gilmore Girls. Why do we re-watch TV shows? We already know the outcome, how each character develops and where life takes them. Their mistakes and wins. AND that is precisely why we (or at least I) re-watch TV shows. We get to play God or at least feel God-Like.

While in my current reality, my idea of God’s plan may not be playing out how I thought He wanted it too (or really how I wanted it too), So I load up Netflix.  I do that for two reasons: to escape my unknown reality and because I am satisfied knowing that each character’s life will turn out fine. I no longer have to worry, I just sit back and become apathetic with the time God has given me.

For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

2 Thessalonians 3:7 (ESV)

I know I am not the first to experience this desire to take God’s role away from Him. Jonah certainly wanted to stay in his home town rather than preach where he was called. Abraham and Sarah took God’s plan into their own hands. The funny thing is that even after we have played all our cards, striving for our own plan or what we think God’s plan is, He knew the hand we were dealt before we made a move. Our lack of trusting and obeying Him was already worked into His plan. God uses it all to bring us right back to Him.

For example: Over the summer I was rapidly growing nearer to God and then I moved to Manhattan, Kansas and it felt as if He didn’t move with me. I felt terribly lost and confused and uncertain that He would actually want this for me. I tried to figure out his plan rather than accomplish His plan with Him. After wrestling with this reality for awhile, I came to the conclusion that I must do life with God not for God.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.                                                                                                               

2 Timothy 4:7 (ESV)

I could blame my growing up in the technology era or I could admit that its human nature to want what I want now. God’s time doesn’t work in the constraints of 24 hrs, 1 week, 3 months, or 5 years. He works outside of our understanding and timing. Although striving to figure out God’s plan tends to be our default, bringing on stress and a lack of living in the moment, this is one puzzle you can never solve.  However, you and I can be with God everyday. Lean into Him and find out what He desires for TODAY. When we focus on today and enjoy each moment, we gain an abundance of peace.

Matthew 6:25-34 Reminds us of God’s daily love and longing for us to trust in Him. If God takes care of the birds of the air and flowers of the fields, He most certainly will give you all that you need, which exceeds your wildest dreams. He cares so much for us that we can experience a simple,  yet pleasant, over-flowing joy in Every. Single. Moment.

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Rendered Speechless

Over the summer I had the opportunity to be an intern at Life.Church. This experience stretched me in ways I couldn’t imagine and I am truly thankful for this experience. One activity we did every Tuesday was communication practice. For those who know me, getting up and talking in front of my peers isn’t my style. I’d prefer to be unseen and unheard, sitting in the back. However, that wasn’t a choice. I HAD to stand up and talk to prove I wasn’t this shy, walked all over, type of girl.

Ok so communication practice number one was fine. I talked about something I enjoyed and though I thought I might faint, made it through. A few weeks pass, and we are told to pick an item out of a box. The item we pick will be the basis for a 5-minute sermon we must prepare. I am not a stranger to writing content to prepare and share with others, so I sit in a quiet place, pray about my object, and just start writing like nobody’s business. However, when it was my turn to speak, I choked.                              

I feared my peers would reject my words before they were spoken.                 I feared I would say something wrong.                                                                     I feared looking like a fool.                                                                                          All this fear was so consuming that I did in fact, poorly deliver my mini sermon.

Since then I have been learning how to feel freedom in who I am in Christ and NOT waiting for others’ approval to pick a major, wear a shirt, go to the store, etc. In this new-found freedom, I would like to share my object sermon. Hopefully you will gain some insight on the biblical value of Lysol wipes…

What is the purpose of Lysol wipes? TO CLEAN!!

1. In Matthew 23:26 Jesus calls out the pharisees for “cleaning” the outside of the cup, aka performing for people, rather than “cleaning” the inside. I enjoy the simple things in life, such as washing dishes, however, it would be rather pointless to clean the outside of my coffee mug and not the inside where the mess is. The same is true about our selves. When we look  at our heart condition and ask God to cleanse us on the inside we will become radiant servants for christ. We no longer have the need to please others but can enjoy the life God has blessed us with.

2. Use what you have… I was only given some wipes, but I made a sermon. The resources we feel we may have on earth don’t put restrictions on what God can do with what we have. In Matthew 15:35-38 Jesus multiplied seven loaves and a few small fish to feed over 5,ooo peeps. Our little human brains can’t fathom the magnitude of what God can do with our resources. On the days that I feel overwhelmed by the stacks of homework and my lack of time I ask God to multiply my time.. He never fails me. God is our provider and will give us what He knows we need in each season of life. If you struggle with having enough time, food, sleep, etc. I challenge you this week to ask God to multiply where you feel lack.

3. We each have a purpose. You may use Lysol wipes to clean the counter but you’re not going to use them to clean the dishes! This doesn’t deem the wipes useless. When we highlight our individual talents we can have good functioning offices, classrooms and homes. In Matthew 4:18-22 Jesus calls out to some fisherman and asks them to come join him. He says they can be fisher of men, using the talents they had for the kingdom of God. What talents, hobbies, future goals do you have unique to you that will further the kingdom of christ? Don’t discount ideas write them down and pray over them. God will use you in ways you couldn’t image.

So whether doing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom excites you or not I hope you see how to look inward to cleanse your soul, be thankful with what you have, and remember that God can multiply those resources!

YOU each have a specific purpose and only have to live for Jesus!!

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Construction Zone: Slow Your Heart for God

I couldn’t repair your breaks, so I made your horn louder” – Mater from Cars

Have you ever gone for a drive but then there are traffic cones everywhere? Your Sunday drive has become a dodge of all the construction equipment, workers, cones and holes.

Have you ever considered that YOU are a construction zone??

Well let me be the first to say I didn’t think of myself that way until the other day when I was driving around town. There were orange cones everywhere. God was like “Hey, you’re a construction zone”.  In a world of plastic surgery and diet plans, you may think this is a cosmetic article.You’re wrong….I’m talking about the inner you.

Last November I started to be discipled. When I started, I thought that by the end I would be this perfect person, employee, friend and future spouse. Then this summer I started an internship at a church and thought after THIS I will be the perfect person, employee, friend and future spouse.

I was wrong…

You see when we read Gods word, sharing studies with each other, that’s the construction equipment; holes are areas that God intends to reveal to us. But, he doesn’t reveal them all at once, otherwise we would get stuck in the hole. Cones are things that God has said no more to or not yet. And workers are everyone you encounter, whether a family member, fellow employee, neighbor down the street or a long lost friend. Each of these aspects are in place to help us grow on the inside.

2 Timothy 4 English Standard Version (ESV)

Preach the Word

4 I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sounda]”>[a] teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. 

The take away is, don’t be discouraged but INCOURAGED!! you have come this far and GOD will continue till He calls you home. You just have to be willing to do what is seemingly unpopular and uncomfortable so that on that day you will hear, “Well done good and faithful servant”