Peace. I have walked it. For many of you who read my last post as of August 7th, 2019 I was paralyzed and searching for my life’s blueprint to be handed to me by God. Now logically we know this can not happen. If we knew everything that God would have for us, we wouldn’t dare move or we would think it was all on us. Newsflash it ain’t.
So what changed from August 7th to December 18th 2019, Besides the weather and holiday season?
My actions.
Instead of listening to my brain explain to me that I have to be approved by God and by all the people around me and still be myself and try to accomplish everything in one semester… and and and!
This nearly drove me insane. Well it actually did I spent my entire summer trapped in my head and talked in circles. It was wack!
I remember the week before classes started like it was yesterday. I hadn’t decided on a school for sure because every time I declared one, I then thought of all the reasons I should go to the other. (To help understand more I had already gone to KSU for a year but KU had a program I was interested in because it would allow me to apply for an internship that I have been wanting to do).
Anyway… The days crept closer to the beginning of classes. I had very few days left to choose. I had officially changed schools like three times. The admission people probably thought I was crazy. I was. But I remember choosing KSU. Thinking I need to finish what I started and although this seemed like the opposite of what I wanted, I knew God had called me to return.
Monday came and as I went to my class a peace that transcends ALL understanding washed over me. This peace was unreal. I remember trying to change my major and realizing it didn’t feel right. In my walk of obedience God opened a major within my school of Education that literally fits me to a T.
I still get to apply for the internship I want and be practically finished with school at the time I had hoped for.
All this to say – God wants to use us and has things in store for us.
Sometimes it is painful other times it is a sweet gift.
How can we know what he has if we don’t walk? You see if ever we get off track God is kind enough to lead us back and our off-trackness was already budgeted into Gods plan.
He literally has it under control.
So as I am sitting here reflecting on literally walking past my thoughts of anxiety and fears of my shortcomings, I thank God for overcoming all and restoring this battle I have faced.
As sit here writing to you I mediate on two things:
Philippians 4:6-7 and the Movie Tangled.
Rapunzel is one of my favorite princesses. While her story starts off kinda bleak it ends with restoration just like each of our own Jesus stories. He comes to rescue us from our oppressor, Satan. Satan tells us that he knows what is best for us, sending doubt into our minds about what God has for us. This lie begins the building of a tower around us – of fears, lies, anger, false situations and so forth. He (the devil) fears our potential. The great thing is, no matter how long you live locked up, whether it be 2 days or 10 years, God will rescue you.
There is a purpose God has for you.
Stop holding it in afraid – that you are too much and not enough. Stop worrying that you will mess it up and you’ll disappoint God. Just STOP. God literally made you perfect in His image. There is no one like you. There may be others who you share common interest or goals with, but the way you are wired is unique. So I am here to tell you that I have come through, to the other side and so can you!
Let’s ring in the new year in expectation of what God can and will do.
